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What a coaching qualification taught me about scoping software

Tuesday 29 July 2025 · 4 min read · Rishi Gupta

Scoping a build and coaching a person are closer than anyone in either trade would like to admit.

In both, the person in front of you has stopped being able to see their own situation. They have lived inside it too long. What is obviously broken to a stranger has become simply how it is done here.

Three habits that came straight across

Do not accept the first answer. The first answer is rehearsed. Somebody has said it in a meeting before and it went down fine. The second answer, the one that arrives after a pause, is the one worth writing down.

Sit in the silence. New consultants fill gaps. It is the most expensive habit in the business. Wait four seconds longer than is comfortable and people tell you the thing they were not going to tell you.

Ask who it costs. Not what — who. Processes do not suffer, people do. Find the person whose week is worst and you have found the build that will get used.

The one that does not transfer

Coaching says the client holds the answer. In software, sometimes they genuinely do not — they cannot know what is possible because nobody has shown them. That is where the job changes and you stop asking and start proposing.

Knowing which mode you are in is most of the skill. Ask too long and you look like you have no opinions. Propose too early and you build the wrong thing beautifully.

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